Best Funny Quotes For WhatsApp | BestRoyalStatus.Blogspot.Com

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.Oscar Wilde

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?George Carlin

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.Mark Twain

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.Woody Allen

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.Bill Hicks

A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.Eleanor Roosevelt

 I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.Paula Poundstone

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.Anonymous

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.Robin Williams

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.” -Rodney Dangerfield

“The human body is the best work of art.” - Jess C. Scott