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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.Mark Twain

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.Oscar Wilde

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.Albert Einstein

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.Theodore Roosevelt

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

 They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood

 A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.Anonymous

“I can't decide whether I'm a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I'm a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that's how I know I'm a woman!” - C. JoyBell C.

“The funniest people are the saddest ones” -Confucius

There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of negativity because I thought there'd be something I'd miss that was funny in the future. If there's a chance I'm going to laugh tomorrow then want to live to experience that.Dave Navarro

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